OK, so I’m just getting used to the gang at the crazy Alpha Lady’s house, you’d say she was crazy too, if you’d been stuck in a van with her for a 14 hour drive; when two new females come and abduct me to their house. After another car trip, we arrive at a totally different place. I was greeted by a bouncy white and tan female who decided within five minutes that she LOVED me.
Of course, I had to explore every nook and cranny smelling everything and demonstrating my ability to reach any and all things in the delicious ‘smell good room’. They have a very weird clear force field between me and the outdoors that they have to open or I bang my nose on it.
The alpha female and the other one seem to know all the good places to scratch me, but they certainly don’t know my name. I was Vegas Rick, then Ricky, then Ricky Retardo, and now they’re calling me Shadrach or Shad. It has something to do with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego going into the fiery furnace and coming out singed and charred but not burned. I do have a very lovely black coat. People will think I’m Shadow, but they don’t seem to care.
After a while, a young male entered the house. He still has his testicles, I checked. I fell asleep a week ago and mine were GONE! My poor purple peenie, though, does elicit lots of sympathy from all the males at this place.
Soon another male, seems to think he’s the alpha (but it’s clear the female runs things around here), arrived from the magic room called ‘the garage’. These people seem to appear and disappear in it a lot.
The alpha female then began to pull out all kinds of delicious smelling things in the ‘smell good room’. I did my best to let her know that I would gladly eat it all for her, which promptly got me sent to my kennel, probably a result of my being able to reach everything. They had the nerve to sit in there and eat it all without me.
Finally, it was dinner time. These people can cook; kibble, raw hamburger, and steak juice. My question is “Where’s the beef from the steak?” Afterwards, the white and tan female got all excited. I wasn’t quite sure why but it seemed to involve a ridiculous looking coat and a leash. I couldn’t believe it when they wanted to put one on me and it was….PINK! Does this have anything to do with my recent surgery?
I was happy that it involved a stroll through the neighborhood, although, I couldn’t understand what the big deal was with me winding around and bumping into both the female dog and the pseudo alpha male. He seemed to make comments about not being leash trained.
I sure hope I won’t be abducted again. This place has soft places to sleep, people who scratch you, squeaky toys, and plenty to eat. Oh, on that note, I found three to be the magic number. If you want your kibble changed to boiled chicken, vomit just three times on the rug and you get chicken! All in all, I think I’ll stay, but only if they quit playing that stupid squirt bottle game every time I lift my leg on the sofa. |
